Showing posts with label wacky boob pics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wacky boob pics. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Meldrumhaus Search Term Roundup

Confession: I'm obsessed with blog statistics. Our blog (and I assume all others hosted by Blogger) shows us the number of views per day, week, month, or of all time and  the sources of our traffic sorted by country. (We have a surprisingly large number of Russian followers). I'm often accused of telling Sara that we need to blog "to keep up the stats! We need more views! Almost one thousand for the month!" My personal favorite "statistic," though, is the search term list: a list of the Google search keywords that send people to the Meldrumhaus. And they're hilarious. In an homage to some of our other favorite blogs that do this, here is the Meldrumhaus Search Term Roundup, Spring 2012 edition.

1. meldrumhaus
That's a gimme.

2. nougat brezel
A delicious and appropriate way to find the Meldrumhaus. Another gimme.

3. sparschwein
A brilliant word. We've been filling up our Sparschwein all winter for the traveling spree that is to come.

4. germknodel making machine
We've spoken of Germknödel before. It was gross. But a machine to make it? Is it even possible?

5. modest castle pic
We aim to make our blog family friendly, meaning that all of the people in photos are modestly dressed. However, the castles themselves are ANYTHING but modest.

6. take photo in snow germany with phone
Yup. Been there. Done that.

7. wooden sliding lid bottom secret compartment
These snuff boxes are elaborate enough to have secret compartments. So is the travel kit for Marie Louise with its own dental hygiene section.

8. adaptation of the monastery
Adapted for what?

9. cheesy hieroglyphics
One or the other. Definitely not both. Probably.

10. germans speak incorrectly
Actually, we speak incorrectly, but it's pretty much the same, right?

11. vampire castle eifel national park
This was a great way to learn about a different castle near us. It turns out that Burg Satzvey was recommended recently as one of Europe's top gems, yet undiscovered by the traveling masses. They do annual witches parties and Halloween parties. Maybe these are the vampires of legend? And it's only two hours away in our state of Nordrhein-Westfalen and it's cheap to get to on the weekend!

12. fanciest castles
Yes. Yes they are. In fact, our blog has entries titled, "The Fanciest Castle Ever," "A Fancy and AUTHENTIC Castle," and "Now THIS is the Fanciest Castle Ever." It's up to you to discern their relative levels of fanciness.

13. painting louvre sister squeezing nipple
You know, this is just an awesome sequence of words. Turns out it references an equally awesome painting.

14. schematic of chutes and ladders
I saw this and laughed to myself: "Who needs a schematic of chutes and ladders? The whole GAME is one big schematic." Then I realized that I actually made one: Chutes and Ladders Moving Day Edition. I still feel the pain from that day.

15. swiss chocolate train
We love Swiss chocolate. We love trains. I've even taken a train to Switzerland to buy chocolate, but a chocolate train? That's just fantastic and I want to ride!

16. photos of heinzelmannchen giving high fives

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Monday, December 26, 2011

Guest Post: The Twelve Days of Weihnachten

Guest author: My brother, Jaren, who is a medical student in DC, came out to visit us over the break. As our first transatlantic visitor, he won the best prize imaginable: a guest post on the Meldrumhaus! Thanks, Jaren, both for the content and for the trip. And for other potential transatlantic visitors, you never know what a trip the the Haus may win you. 

Christmas in Europe was so incredible, I have nothing to say. . . so. . . I will sing it! Here is one last cliché rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas to round out the 2011 holiday season:

On the first day of Weihnachten, Ty and Sara gave to me:
One awesome trip to France to see the Louvre!

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On the second day of Weihnachten, Ty and Sara gave to me:
Two sophisticated, wacky boob pics;
And one awesome trip to France to see the Louvre!

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On the third day of Weihnachten, Ty and Sara gave to me:
Three hats that are almost like stockings;
Two sophisticated, wacky boob pics;
And one awesome trip to France to see the Louvre!

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On the fourth day of Weihnachten, Ty and Sara gave to me:
Four new European countries to visit;
Three hats that are almost like stockings;
Two sophisticated, wacky boob pics;
And one awesome trip to France to see the Louvre!

[Insert the entirety of France, Belgium, the Netherlands, and Germany here]

On the fifth day of Weihnachten, Ty and Sara gave to me:
Five new pounds of fat (dramatic pause!);
Four new European countries to visit;
Three hats that are almost like stockings;
Two sophisticated, wacky boob pics;
And one awesome trip to France to see the Louvre!

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Note the smiles.

On the sixth day of Weihnachten, Ty and Sara gave to me:
Six really, really old cathedrals to ogle;
Five new pounds of fat (dramatic pause!);
Four new European countries to visit;
Three hats that are almost like stockings;
Two sophisticated, wacky boob pics;
And one awesome trip to France to see the Louvre!

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On the seventh day of Weihnachten, Ty and Sara gave to me:
Seven(ty?) hours at the Weihnachtsmarkt;
Six really, really old cathedrals to ogle;
Five new pounds of fat (dramatic pause!);
Four new European countries to visit;
Three hats that are almost like stockings;
Two sophisticated, wacky boob pics;
And one awesome trip to France to see the Louvre!

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On the eighth day of Weihnachten, Ty and Sara gave to me:
Eight new ways to wear a scarf;
Seven(ty?) hours at the Weihnachtsmarkt;
Six really, really old cathedrals to ogle;
Five new pounds of fat (dramatic pause!);
Four new European countries to visit;
Three hats that are almost like stockings;
Two sophisticated, wacky boob pics;
And one awesome trip to France to see the Louvre!

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Due to intellectual property rights, only one is pictured. Note the trendy scarf “nubbin.”
On the ninth day of Weihnachten, Ty and Sara gave to me:
Nine family members skyping across the globe (including Berkeley the dog);
Eight new ways to wear a scarf;
Seven(ty?) hours at the Weihnachtsarkt;
Six really, really old cathedrals to ogle;
Five new pounds of fat (dramatic pause!);
Four new European countries to visit;
Three hats that are almost like stockings;
Two sophisticated, wacky boob pics;
And one awesome trip to France to see the Louvre!

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Home team: Team Germany
Also represented: Teams Denver (left) and Chuuk (Federated States of Micronesia, right)


On the tenth day of Weihnachten, Ty and Sara gave to me:
Ten new identity crises;
Nine family members skyping across the globe (including Berkeley the dog);
Eight new ways to wear a scarf;
Seven(ty?) hours at the Weihnachtsmarkt;
Six really, really old cathedrals to ogle;
Five new pounds of fat (dramatic pause!);
Four new European countries to visit;
Three hats that are almost like stockings;
Two sophisticated, wacky boob pics;
And one awesome trip to France to see the Louvre!

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This is not a baguette. I am not René Magritte. Aaaagh!!! What am I!?!?!?
On the eleventh day of Weihnachten, Ty and Sara gave to me:
Eleven chocolate waffles from Elizabeth chocolatiers;
Ten new identity crises;
Nine family members skyping across the globe (including Berkeley the dog);
Eight new ways to wear a scarf;
Seven(ty?) hours at the Weihnachtsmarkt;
Six really, really old cathedrals to ogle;
Five new pounds of fat (dramatic pause!);
Four new European countries to visit;
Three hats that are almost like stockings;
Two sophisticated, wacky boob pics;
And one awesome trip to France to see the Louvre!





On the twelfth day of Weihnachten, Ty and Sara gave to me:
Twelve thousand steps to the top of Dom Köln.
Eleven chocolate waffles from Elizabeth chocolatiers;
Ten new identity crises;
Nine family members skyping across the globe (including Berkeley the dog);
Eight new ways to wear a scarf;
Seven(ty?) hours at the Weihnachtsmarkt;
Six really, really old cathedrals to ogle;
Five new pounds of fat (dramatic pause!);
Four new European countries to visit;
Three hats that are almost like stockings;
Two sophisticated, wacky boob pics;
And one awesome trip to France to see the Louvre!

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Thanks so much for the unforgettable Christmas memories! You guys are the best!